God Bless America

They call it “faith”. I call it the ultimate lack of faith. There’s so little faith in fact, they have to go get banners printed up saying “God Bless America.” and hang them all over the place. Is that for when God’s flying overhead? In his invisible jet? Doling out the blessings? “Hmmm… let’s see, blessed England, Germany, France (against their will), Canada… Mexico. Shit I feel like I’m forgetting someone. Uraguy?.. no, did them. Hmm.. wait a second. What’s that banner say down there? I’ll just swoop in for a closer look. Wooooosh! “God. Bless. America!” Of course! America! Oh myself – that would have been hysterical. All that wasted prayer. OK America, one blessing, coming up. Zzzzzzzzz Shazam!!”