YOUR INCESSNATLY BARKING DOG.

Dear Neighbor:

I regret having to be sitting here writing you this letter, however the current situation has gone on long enough, and must be addressed.

Each day, after you let your dog into your yard, and then leave, he (or she) begins to bark. And bark. And bark. (He barks a lot.) Here’s a short list of just some of the things he barks at:

- Airplanes
- Passing cars
- Our sliding door opening and/or closing.
- Quiet talking in the backyard
- Mowing the lawn
- Raking the lawn
- Watering the lawn
- Your other dog
- Swinging in the hammock
- Sun tanning
- Other neighbors talking/laughing/whispering
- The other neighborhood dogs who inevitable start barking to create a
certifiable canine cacophony.

As I write this, I can still hear him lost in one of his barking fits. This one was initially brought on by my watering the plants, but now seems to have become some sick, self-fulfilling cycle, where he is simply barking at himself, or perhaps, his great anger at the absence of any other thing to bark at.

Being a dog owner in a residential area, you are no doubt aware of city ordinances pertaining to your pet, so I won’t insult you by quoting them. I do regret having to “meet” this way, however for myself, and several others who work, or reside home during the day – it’s simply unfair to expect the neighborhood to for us to listen to your dog.

I believe you have several options at your disposal, ranging from shock collars to a good home in the country. I also understand that Los Angeles is home to some cutting edge work in the field of dog therapy, which might also be explored. So, on behalf of myself and all the other neighbors, thank you in advance for your dealing with this unrest.


Sincerely,
Your Neighbor